As all of you should surely know, one of our TV sheep has returned to his TV flock, and for that we rejoice even if it means that this certain Parks & Rec character's dreams were destroyed quicker than Sodom and Gomorrah. That's right ladies and gentleman, after much debate and inner turmoil...Tom Haverford is back at his old job. And the parks in Pawnee, Indiana will never be the same again. But they will be the same as they were when he worked in the Parks department in seasons 1-3.
Now as the Son of God at one point or another I said that "you can never go home again," and then somebody wrote it in the Bible. However, while I may have actually said that, and everything I've ever said is important enough to be published in the World's best selling book of all time, even I (Christ) sometime make blanket statements that may not always apply to every fictional scenario created by the writers of every fictional sitcom. And I should not, and cannot, be held accountable for that.
That being said, it's time for TV fans everywhere (and citizens of Indiana) to rejoice about Tommy's return. Entertainment 720 may have established a once in a lifetime corporate structure and workplace environment, but it wasn't going to last forever. It's about time Tom Haverford returned to his proper place. Otherwise known as his desk in Leslie Knope's office.
Weekly Awards
Best of the Best
Comedy Jesus "I'll Die on a Cross to Make You Laugh" Superstar OTW: Tom Haverford, Parks & Rec
Is this category really up for debate this week? Did any of you read what I just wrote? If you answered no to both of those questions...then my pops didn't create you with as much common sense and/or lying ability as he should have.
John the Baptist "I'll Show Up and Dunk Your Head in a River" Cameo OTW: Leslie Mann, Modern Family
Judd Apatow's wife has gotten busy with a lot of dudes in her day, including Adam Sandler and that lizard in Rio, but letting a gay guy pick you up so you will have someone to go shopping with? That's enough to earn you an award from me...even if this episode was one like a half a month ago or something like that
Mary Magdalene "Promiscuous Girl" OTW: Karl's Mom, Workaholics
What better way to celebrate your drug dealer's son's wedding to an upstanding Asian broad than by slamming his best frienemy (friend/enemy...duh) who is only some 30 years younger than you? God...I hope every young man gets to the chance to feel such pride in his parents.
Quote OTW: "Jogging is the worst Chris. God, I know it keeps you healthy...but at what cost?"
-Anne Perkins
Shockingly Anne Perkins has taken this award home twice already this season. Perhaps even more shocking...both of these awards were well deserved. Looks like somebody got over Jim Halpert picking Pam instead of her in The Office...and is now a shockingly funny woman. No small feat on any account right there.
Comedy Jesus "Top Half Dozen Apostles" Power Rankings
1) Parks & Recreation, NBC-Did I mention that Tom Haverford is working at the Parks Department again? Or that Anne Perkins is both an attractive nurse and hilarious? Or that Andy will soon get his chance to play with lasers? Well, as it turns out that last one isn't quite true...which is indeed a bummer. But Parks & Rec has done more than enough to stay on top.
2) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, FX-How do you sneak out of a house you broke into that's filled with Asians who somehow speak in a Southern accent? Well...you just walk out the front door. We know that now. And we can thank It's Always Sunny for that.
3) Workaholics, Comedy Central-Karl is giving up drug dealing to marry an Asian, who then leaves him at the alter. What do you do in that situation? Well...you tear gas the entire crowd. That's pretty obvious.
4) Community, NBC-Annie moves in with Troy and Abed? Can anyone else see a multi-racial three-way coming into the shows story arch here soon? Well I can, and I kinda now everything so...Community's ratings should get a serious boost here soon.
5) South Park, Comedy Central-There's no proof that aliens weren't at the first Thanksgiving so...the History Channel should be telling people that there were. That's just reliable journalism right there.
6) The Office, NBC-Yeah the comedy selection this week didn't really go a half-dozen deep. And the Office is still far too emotional for God's liking. But hey I promised you six shows so...you're gonna get six shows.
Worst of the Worst
Man Up, ABC-I have no idea if this show was even on this week. But, I do know that I have seen it. And those are 30 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Watch the trailer and you'll probably feel the same way. Well, at least about that 1 minute and 55 seconds of your life.
Comedy Judas "I'll Stab You in the Back" Traitor OTW: Cam, Modern Family
You have never betrayed me Cameron. But two weeks ago when you pretended to be straight...you betrayed your own identity. But it also made me laugh so...I guess all's well that ends well. That's in the bible too.
Back with more next week. Until then, may peace and laughter be with you,
Comedy Jesus Christos
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